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I wondered how that one would endHow the scansion would waver and bendBut by making up wordsWe're as free as the BirdsLike the soul of Henry, our late friendYou have to be logged in to contribute.
Previous limericksThere was a young man with Tourette's
Who swore blind he had three pets
He swore a rude swear
Stuck his bum in the air
and thus paid off all of his debts.
| A bald statistician called Rich
Developed a niggling itch
It was so persistent
He hired an assistant
who decide to hide in a ditch
|
I like to wear pants on my head
When I'm safely shut up in my shed
Don't worry, they're clean
but they wouldn't have been
If I'd worn them the right way instead
| My horoscope told me today
That I shouldn't believe what they say
That Paula would win
despite all the gin
I should never do it that way.
|
A Dyson, when thrown down the stairs
Will knock dust off the apples and pears
But when thrown out the window
By a rather dumb bimbo
It will burst, spreading grief and cat hairs.
| A Romanian gymnast, Svetlana,
Could bend her body like a banana
When her legs touched the ceiling
She felt herself peeling
And her lover said "same time manyana?"
|
A mild schitzophrenic named Steve/Dave/John/Frank/Betty
Had a problem with bits that were sweaty
He said "I'm too hot"
Then repled "No we're not"
And this argument's childish and petty.
| A gold medal contender from France
Entered swimming, darts, dressage, and dance
No end to her talents
a great sense of balance
And she let the judge enter her pants
|
At night, when the wind's in the west,
is the best time to dry out your vest.
If the wind's in the east
Then your undies, at least,
End up drier but look just as messed.
| The first line of this limerick's the worst
The person wot wrote it is cursed
The fourth's palindromic
C? I'm O comic!
and the last line's as bad as the first
|
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