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    July 19, 2004

    Oh pants

    So we get on board the QM2 this morning and they show us to our cabin. That’s ‘cabin’, singular. I’m sharing a cabin with my boss.

    But that’s not all.

    There’s only one bed in it.

    But that’s not all either.

    I like to travel light. When I packed, I decided to do without frivolities like pyjamas or underwear. I will sleep, I resolved, as mother nature intended.

    I’m not sure if mother nature intended me to sleep with my boss, but if she did she’s got a cruel sense of humour.

    On the bridge of the ship is a poem called ‘Ode to the Queen Mary II’. It’s rubbish. I reckon I could do a much better job.

    A ship called the Queen Mary II
    Was built with one cabin too few.
    Because of this loss
    I’ve to sleep with my boss,
    And that isn’t a nice thing to do.

    Comments

    You really are hopeless.

    Comment by Mort — July 19, 2004 at 7:03 PM

    Without a doubt this was the best entry ever by Mr Simon of G.
    An all time classic!
    Marc of B

    Comment by MarcB — July 19, 2004 at 7:09 PM

    Not found your rich widow yet then? Hurry up!

    Comment by JG — July 19, 2004 at 7:18 PM

    Simon, I am speechless with laughter, so it’s fortunate that I only have to type this. Even though you haven’t described your boss, I’m sure you’re not fortunate enough to have an attractive female one. Cover your ostrich, mate. :)

    A fellow named Simon perchance
    Got aboard a big ship with no pants.
    When his boss asked him why,
    He became very shy,
    And adopted a defensive stance.

    Comment by ScottJ — July 19, 2004 at 7:28 PM

    Sleep well - sweet dreams

    Comment by Miss Sixty — July 19, 2004 at 7:55 PM

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    who says that dreams don’t come true? what cynics!
    (however, i suspect that, as per usual, you are lying)

    perhaps boss might give you a ‘rise’.

    Comment by henry the thirst — July 19, 2004 at 8:55 PM

    I’m sure you could buy some pjs on the QM. Maybe with a logo. Lovely souvenir.

    Comment by jane — July 19, 2004 at 9:47 PM

    Words fail me, so instead:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Take care

    Lots of care

    Comment by Paul G0TLG — July 19, 2004 at 10:53 PM

    Maybe you’ll get a (pay)rise out of the trip …

    Comment by JG — July 19, 2004 at 11:10 PM

    These team-building exercises are getting out of hand, Simon! Sleep well…

    Comment by PaulV — July 19, 2004 at 11:53 PM

    …and you packed no underwear?
    you aren’t hemingway and you will get some rude letters from sketchleys.
    (no pants indeed. muttermuttermumble)

    oh, btw, what flavour butt-plug did boss prefer? i bet you found room in your bob the builder tool-box suitcase for the full range.
    my money’s on vanilla; what do other readers think?

    Comment by henry the thirst — July 20, 2004 at 2:25 AM

    Some people will do anything for a promotion!

    Comment by Lordhutton — July 20, 2004 at 9:45 AM

    Well, I wasn’t going to mention any “going down on a sinking ship” type jokes, but heck, if you lot can mention butt plugs….

    Comment by Jenny — July 20, 2004 at 10:44 AM

    yes, buy expensive PJs and expense them

    or strip butt naked, leap into bed and feign deep sleep, all before your boss arrives.

    Comment by sweavo — July 20, 2004 at 4:10 PM

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