Action!
Oh, hello! Sorry, I was a bit distracted there. Busy working on my movie script, don’tcherknow.
I said recently that my writing days are over, my creative energies now finding their outlet in PuzzleDonkey. That remains true, but I’m still allowed to write things when the occasion demands it, and the current occasion certainly does, because as I was lying in bed this morning I had an epiphany.
It occurred to me that between the locals on my humble website, we have all the requisite skills to make a fillum. Not necessarily a very good fillum, admittedly, but - when it comes right down to it - how hard can it be? Any fool can act, and it doesn’t take a degree in Media Studies to point a camera. Provided I knock up a cracking script, we can’t fail to produce the hit of the year!
The major snag is that we’re working to a budget - specifically, zero. This means I’m having to carefully construct a story that requires no props, no sets, no costumes*, and as few spaceships as possible. It’s an obstacle, but one that can be overcome.
Right, I’d better go and knock up this script. Then all I need are a director’s chair and a clapperboard and we’ll be set for the off.
I’ve never made a movie before. Exciting, this, innit?
*Other than everyday clothes, I mean. I’m not expecting the cast to turn up naked.
Comments
| Not naked? Damn. ‹Dresses hurriedly› Comment by Omally — May 8, 2004 at 2:05 AM |
| Well, I’m a little remote to be crewing for you, but if you need a sound designer … or a post-production audio mixer … or any other audio services you can think of, I volunteer! ScottJ Comment by ScottJ — May 8, 2004 at 5:29 AM |
| You’ve even got a contact who is going to Cannes for the international film festival. What more do you need? Comment by Qov — May 8, 2004 at 5:38 AM |
| Well, I HAVE done plenty of acting in my day… Wait, it is my day… *Contemplates previous two statements.* Comment by ConorD — May 8, 2004 at 5:49 AM |
| I was an extra in a film and my god father was in cross roads. Comment by disco max — May 8, 2004 at 9:43 AM |
| My Dad was in Brum once. Well, only from the knees down. And if there’s any singing to be done MM will leap to your aid. If there isn’t any, mind you, she’ll demand to be allowed to sing anyway. You have been warned. Comment by Mort — May 8, 2004 at 9:55 AM |
| Ooh, I can do the lighting. And I’m pretty good on pyrotechnics. I think Mort’s Mom should be the Wrangler - God (who as Henry will remind you does not exist) knows you’ll need someone to keep the rabble in order. Comment by Milk Monster’s Mum — May 8, 2004 at 11:56 AM |
| I’ll add the light-sabres. Comment by Stu — May 8, 2004 at 12:29 PM |
| You are welcome to the contents of the family Mort dressing up box (yes we do have one)and Morty has her very own clapperboard. Comment by Mort’s mom — May 8, 2004 at 1:10 PM |
| Yay! I’ll write the review! (Flexes wrists, cracks knuckles, wiggles fingers menacingly… SPRANG! go the tendons again…) Comment by prvincent — May 8, 2004 at 2:31 PM |
| I was in “By the Sword Divided” and “Treasure Hunt". Comment by ned — May 8, 2004 at 3:08 PM |
| I’m sure we could assemble an ensemble of saxomastrawists for the sound track. Comment by Anonymous — May 8, 2004 at 6:12 PM |
| Dammit, that ^ was me. Again. Why does this keep happening to me?* *Rhetorical. |
| My ex is married to the son of a very leading actor in the original star wars. I think I could do you some X-wing fighters. Comment by hutton — May 8, 2004 at 7:18 PM |
| If we’re doing the ‘I know an actor’ thing, I went to school with Ewan McGregor. I might be able to persuade him to come along and do a cameo. Comment by Carol — May 8, 2004 at 10:14 PM |
| I’m more than happy to be the leading lady ;) Comment by Miss Sixty — May 8, 2004 at 11:54 PM |
| But darling…what is my motivation??? Comment by The Merman — May 10, 2004 at 12:41 AM |
| I knew one of the Milky Bar kids, if that counts. Comment by Kouros — May 10, 2004 at 12:46 PM |
| I live quite near Hollywood, if that’s any help? Comment by Jane — May 10, 2004 at 8:04 PM |