Yesterday’s blog entry ended with the words ‘I need to get out more’. I think that’s what’s known as ‘tempting fate’.

The threat of a visit to Norway has been realised. I leave tomorrow, and will spend the next few days installing software on Viking longboats - or, at least, the fleet of everyone’s favourite Norwegian ferry company, Colorline.

It’s going to be a long week. I fly out tomorrow, spend the week flitting from ferry to ferry, and don’t get home until Sunday. It will, of course, be an unmitigated disaster, and end in utter catastrophe. It’s already gone a bit wrong, and I haven’t even left yet.

Y’see, it’s all at rather short notice, which is a problem because all my clothes are in the wash. This evening I’ve scoured the house for something to wear on my travels - the only thing I could find was a rather damp pair of jeans in the washing machine. There was no way they’d be dry by tomorrow of their own accord, so I had the cunning plan of popping them in the oven.

I took them out just a minute ago. They’re certainly dry - no question about that. I fear, however, that they’re a tad overdone. They’re rather scorched, and when I tried to pick them up, they crumbled in my hand. I think I’ll have to find some other apparel. Possibly I could fashion something from bin bags.

But enough of my problems - what, you ask, will become of my blog while I’m away? Well, I’m pleased to report that I’ve arranged not one but FIVE special guest celebrity bloggers to fill in! And depending on my ability to locate cybercafes, you might get a few entries from me too. I take no responsibility for what the celebrity guests write, so don’t blame me if it’s rubbish.

For their benefit, here are my handy hints on quality blogging:

1. If something dead interesting has happened to you recently, write about that.
2. If not, write about something slightly interesting in an amusing manner.
3. If nothing even slightly interesting has happened, write about some interesting observation you’ve made.
4. If you haven’t made any interesting observations, dredge up some anecdote from your past.
5. If all of the above fail, then you must be the dullest person in the world. In this case, write about what it’s like to be suspended near Tower Bridge in a perspex box.