Another brush with death
So I was having a tidy earlier and tossing a load of dirty clothes onto a pile in the bedroom, when I heard a muffled buzzing sound. I didn’t think much of it - I’m deaf in one ear, I get tinnitus - so I continued about my business, picking up my pile of clothes and taking it downstairs, where I dropped it to the floor. And as I did so, THE BIGGEST WASP YOU’VE EVER SEEN jumped out! It was like that one in Doctor Who when he met Agatha Christie! And I’d carried it downstairs in my pile of washing! It could have STUNG ME TO DEATH at any time!
I hurried back upstairs and grabbed the bottle of fly killer. Then I decided this might not be enough to slay such an enormous beast, so I grabbed a bottle of hairspray too. I figured if I couldn’t kill it I could at least give it a great hairdo. Possibly a beehive, a ha ha.
With hairspray coming at it from one direction and fly killer from the other, it didn’t know which way to turn. Eventually it opted for downwards. If you’re in the York area and you noticed a tremor earlier in the evening, it was my wasp hitting the floor.
So now I’ve got a gigantic wasp carcase to deal with. I figure if I carve it up I can dine on wasp steaks for a month.
Comments
| Csreful. It might be from outer-space and able to regenerate itself. Comment by henry the thirst — November 22, 2009 at 9:30 AM |
| Probably a hornet. Better check around for a nest! Looks papery and about the size of an apple to begin with! Comment by jane — November 22, 2009 at 8:48 PM |
| Don’t forget the legs - you’ll get 4 more than you do on a chicken. Comment by Rich — November 22, 2009 at 8:52 PM |
| Are you sure it wasn’t an ARMARDA OF HORNETS!?! Comment by Lorrie — November 22, 2009 at 9:44 PM |
| Fuck me Goodway, you ought to move to Cardiff! |
| I really must say, Hutters, that your recent comments have irked me more than a little. Has Lady Lager been weaving her mystic spell? Comment by henry the thirst — November 23, 2009 at 4:17 PM |
| Our attention has been drawn to the above website which contains references which we feel are defamatory to our Practice. If you had an issue with us, surely it could have been brought to our attention and dealt with in a professional manner, not by way of a blog on your website. We are indeed long established, professional, honest and certainly not ‘liars’ . We would kindly request that you now remove your negative comments about us from your site and perhaps an apology would be in order. Comment by Eley Long & Co — November 24, 2009 at 2:01 PM |
| ooOOOoooh, handbags! Comment by henry the thirst — November 24, 2009 at 4:22 PM |
| Tell you what, I’ve been called a lot worse than that and whether these allegations (to myself, of course) are true or not I have realised that you have to grow up and be a big boy if you want to play in interwebland. |
| Looks like Eley Long & Co have done a bit of vanity googling and found http://www.simong.org/index.php?p=1314 |
| It doesn’t, does it. Also, denying any wrongdoing without bothering to ask what I think they lied about does seem to undermine their claim to professionalism. Comment by SimonG — November 24, 2009 at 11:47 PM |
| Two years ago. Two years. |
| Are Eeh Ba Gum and Co offering an apology? |
| Why didn’t you just squash it? Comment by JG — November 29, 2009 at 6:29 PM |
| Eley Long and Co are my favourite Estate Liars Comment by lordhutton — December 10, 2009 at 11:26 PM |
| Wos going on with your blog updates? Gottle has come round again. And woss going on with your lack of bloggism? Comment by lordhutton — December 20, 2009 at 7:40 PM |