1032hrs

We're now on a train to Chicago, which gets there in five or six hours (there are time zones involved, so it's hard to be sure). We'll have a couple of hours to look around there (that chambermaid was going on about how great Chicago is) before we get on another train.

That train is a completely different teapot of turnips. It takes us across most of America, there being very little worth seeing in the middle (Mount Rushmore would have been nice, but it's too hard to get at, and Dodge City might have been worth a look, but we'd have had to stay twenty four hours for the next train out). In fact it takes us all the way to Flagstaff, Arizona, near the Grand Canyon. It gets there at 9:20 p.m., or thereabouts, tomorrow, so our whole journey lasts at least 35 hours, but with all the time zones it must be even more than that.

By the sound of it, though, that train has all kinds of things to do on it, including movies and I don't know what else. The view should be good, anyway.

In theory we'll be sleeping on the train tonight, then, but I don't suppose I'll get much sleep. Last time we took a night train, any attempt to drop off wasn't helped by the fact that we had to change trains at half past four, but even with the promise of an uninterrupted night, I should think I'll get about six and a half winks at most.

I have (or, rather, had) a little bottle of water with a spray cap, which I used to wet my hair with before brushing. Without my little bottle of water, my hair goes all over the place, and is very unruly. Unfortunately, I left it on that other night train, and my hair hasn't been the same since.

It's going to be a long, long journey, but I've got plenty to do. I've got a few short stories and a novel to read, the theory of relativity to get to grips with, a book of crosswords, plenty of gorgeous views, the promise of movies and a diary to write. And with any luck, someone will be murdered when we go through a tunnel.

Same day

Going through Westmont

1731hrs (Central Time)

I suppose it was expecting a lot that we could see all the sights of Chicago in two hours. My main image of Chicago previously, apart from that of gangsters running round and shooting each other, comes from Due South, which is set in Chicago but filmed in Canada (been there), so probably isn't that reliable a guide, although it has some gorgeous establishing shots, which really are filmed in Canada, and I'd been expecting to see something similar.

Most of these establishing shots have involved trains running along on rails suspended above the streets (which is how I know they're filmed in Chicago, because they have those in Chicago), and we did indeed see plenty of those, but in real life they look much more practical and less romantic. Chicago does have some nice buildings, including Sears Tower, which we went in - like the Empire State Building, we didn't go all the way to the top. We went up as far as the lobby. The skyline as a whole, though, failed to put across the same ambience As Seen on TV.

It seemed like a nice place though, but without much for the tourist. I think the mad French chambermaid in Detroit overdid it a bit, but on the other hand, if Detroit is her only other experience of the US of A, I can see how Chicago could come across as the next best thing to Heaven. Which makes the comparison particularly appropriate, given that I've worked out why there's steam coming out of the manholes in the nation's motor capital - it is the steam from Hell, which is directly under Detroit. The residents of the latter, I think, are escapees of the former.

While we're comparing the two cities, they both have an abundance of a particular type of establishment - in Detroit, every other building is a beauty salon, which is the exact opposite of a shop selling camouflage gear; whereas, in Chicago, most places are fast food restaurants - on one corner we saw a McDonalds next door to a KFC, and opposite a Burger King. From the fact that, despite such fierce competition, they can all apparently stay in business, it would seem reasonable to expect the locals to all be hugely fat, but they weren't that I noticed.

We're now on the South West Chief, the train on which we will spend roughly twenty-seven hours. It's a Bi-Level Coach, and we're upstairs, so the view should be good, and we've had confirmation that there will be at least one movie tonight, possibly two (my sources are conflicting - one voice over the tannoy distinctly used the phrase 'a couple of movies', but another spoke of only 'a movie'). What movie (or movies) it (or they) will be, has yet to be announced.

Same day

Between Galesburg and Fort Madison

2004hrs

The movie paradox has been resolved; they're showing the same one twice. It's 'Father's Day', with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. I've never been much of a fan of Robin Williams films, so I'm giving it a miss. They're showing it on the plane home, so I can always catch it then.

My potential illness never came to anything, by the way.

The scenery so far has been less than thrilling - fields, mostly, with the occasional town - and it's dark now, so I suppose that's it for tonight. We'll be passing through Dodge City in the morning at something past seven. I'd like to see that, so I'll try to be awake. I expect I will be.

I've been having another stab at Einstein. He seems to be making more sense today.

Other than that, there's very little to report. Life aboard the South West Chief is good, but so far largely uneventful. Looking back through this journal, I seem to write almost as much on trains as off, which I suppose makes sense; there's less to write about, but there's more time to write about it anyway.

I'll tell you one odd thing about this country. A lot of the bill posters and adverts on buses are for TV programmes, or often whole line-ups. This seems strange in itself - you don't get that extent of competition between TV stations in Britain, where television is, relatively, a cottage industry (trust me. I know all about relativity now). The really odd part, though, is that the programmes advertised are American (well they would be, wouldn't they), and mostly sitcoms which have been on in Britain, usually in the middle of the night, and which I have watched at some time in my life. Where I come from these are obscure, unheard of programmes, and it's weird to see them advertised on buses.

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