June 29, 2009

    Killing Elizabeth ~ Chapter Twenty-two

    Previously:

    “We did it!” said Kelly triumphantly after Randolph had gone. “I don’t know how, but we did it!”

    “No time to dwell on that, we’ve got to be back here in an hour. Follow me.”

    He led her upstairs and indicated a door.

    “That’s Randolph’s bedroom,” he whispered. Kelly nodded her understanding and they crept noiselessly towards the fire escape at the other end of the landing. Adrian pressed down the lever silently and within moments they were on the small metal balcony outside. He pushed the door to behind them.

    “I’ll leave it ajar so we Read more...

    June 22, 2009

    Killing Elizabeth ~ Chapter Twenty-one

    Previously:

    “You still haven’t told me what those costumes are for,” Kelly observed as they waited on the doorstep for Adrian’s boss to let them in.

    “They’re just so we can – Randolph, hi!”

    Their host had opened the door. He looked small and frail, quite unlike the confident, sprightly figure Kelly remembered from earlier in the day. There was a phone to his ear.

    “Sorry Yvonne, I’ll have to call you back. Evening Adrian, Kelly,” he said, hanging up. “Come on in.”

    He sounded unusually subdued, so as he led them through to the dining room Adrian asked: “Is everything okay?”

    “It’s been a hell Read more...

    June 15, 2009

    Killing Elizabeth ~ Chapter Twenty

    Previously:

    Driving home after their meal Kelly could see that Adrian was still on edge, in spite of his efforts to appear calm and relaxed. It was a little after six, and the sun had set ages ago, for night fell early this late in the year; but the moon was full and bright, and the sky cloudless, making for a beautiful October evening. In keeping with his assumed cheer, Adrian had therefore elected to take the scenic route, a course which ran along the tree lined Sycamore Drive and past the looming Gothic home of his boss.

    The road arce Read more...

    June 9, 2009

    Pigeons and babies and chinchillas

    A behavioural psychologist, Skinner
    Made pigeons do tricks for their dinner.
    The pigeons that could
    Got three courses and pud,
    And the pigeons that couldn’t, got thinner.

    Me, with my nephew in 2002:

    Thomas

    Me, with my nephew last week:

    Sam

    I think he’s got some kind of growth problem. Either that or, more likely, I now have YET ANOTHER NEPHEW! I’m now an uncle four times over, or looked at another way, FOUR UNCLES. I prefer to look at it that way because I’m quite thin for four people.

    I think what we can learn from those pictures is that in six and a half years I’ve learnt to appear marginally less terrified when holding a baby. At this rate I reckon I can have one of my own in about 2047 and I might be able to pretend I know what I’m doing.

    CHINCHILLA NEWS CHINCHILLA NEWS CHINCHILLA NEWS

    …I haven’t really got any. News, not chinchillas. I have got those. They’re now the best friends in the whole world and use one another as pillows. I only wish we could get them to be as chummy with us as they are with one another. I tried persuading Jess to dress up as a giant chinchilla but she didn’t go for it. And possibly it would have terrified them.

    I need to film them having a sand bath together for your viewing pleasure. Their bath is a Quality Street tin, which is amply big enough for one chinchilla to roll around in, but a bit of a squeeze for two. That doesn’t deter them though, and Jerry, by far the smaller of the pair, tends to get rolled on by his lardier friend, and you see Gus rolling about merrily with Jerry’s back legs sticking up from under him, wriggling frantically. Which sounds horrid, but he never seems much bothered. Though I think it gives us an excuse to buy a bigger box of chocolates.

    That’s all I’ve got to say today. Well done those of you who’ve managed to stick with my novel so far, I realise with the rate I’m posting it the story’s progressing at a fairly glacial pace. It gets exciting soon, I promise.

    June 8, 2009

    Killing Elizabeth ~ Chapter Nineteen

    Previously:

    PC Sadie Smart was catching up on her paperwork. Right now she was filling in a report about Mrs O’Mally and her stolen car, which had turned out to be not so much stolen as parked on floor 2B of the multi-storey rather than 2A where she adamantly maintained she’d left it. It was hardly the sort of case for which Sadie had got into policing, but at least it was her own, a welcome taste of autonomy after a week of tagging along with Pru. It wasn’t that they didn’t get on – on the contrary, they’d become great friends – but teamwork offered limited Read more...

    June 1, 2009

    Killing Elizabeth ~ Chapter Eighteen

    Previously:

    “You took your time,” said Elizabeth when Adrian returned from the kitchen with paracetamol.

    “Yeah, sorry about that. I’d forgotten where we kept them.” And I was lacing Norbert’s chop with coke so he goes for your throat, he didn’t add. It was a desperate gambit, borne of his suspicion that Elizabeth was onto him: he could no longer risk allowing her to live another day, and the window in which he could prove he was somewhere else was closing rapidly. Thus he was reduced to gambling on the presumption that the dog, fuelled with cocaine, would react in the same way h Read more...

    May 28, 2009

    Jerry

    We decided Gus needed a friend, so we got another chinchilla.

    Gus is six months old, which isn’t much for a chinchilla - they can live into their twenties - but he’s like a grumpy old man already. Jerry, his new friend, is half his age, and acts like the excitable kiddie he is. Nothing seems to bother him - he’s like a smaller, hairier Pollyanna.

    Grumpy old Gus was unimpressed by Jerry’s enthusiasm for life. Nor did he seem too happy with the newcomer’s propensity to nip him, and warded him off with angry noises whenever he got near.

    …I wrote those three paragraphs earlier in the day, and I’ve just had to edit the last one for tense, because this evening there’s been a cessation of hostilities. We’d been introducing them gradually, letting them run around together in the hallway but then putting them away in separate cages. Their first proper getting-to-know-you session yesterday was a disaster - by the end of it Gus had lost enough fur to stuff a pillow, through a combination of shedding from stress and Jerry pulling it out. Today was a bit better, not because they’d bonded but because Gus had adopted the policy of hiding and growling should Jerry come near. It didn’t bode well for their first night sharing a cage.

    But we put them in the cage together and they’re fine! There’s been mutual grooming and shared sandbathing and everything. Possibly Gus is lulling us into a false sense of security so he can kill Jerry when we leave them alone together, but all evidence so far suggests he’s not that clever. I think they might actually have resolved their differences and decided to be the best of friends.